fbpx Welcoming Those Who Are Close | Reconstructing Judaism

Welcoming Those Who Are Close

Article

(Originally published in RRA Connections)

How do you know if you’re on the right path…this moment, and the next, and the one after that? How many of us, especially if we have over-obligated lives (as many of us do), find ourselves a little startled or even completely shocked that we are in the overgrowth, far from the trail that we had set upon last High Holy Days?

So much of our day-to-day existence is experienced in a sort of “fog of war.” That is why we may be excited to find that truly satisfying answer to long-term dilemmas facing our family or just come to a decision on what to have for dinner. We are often convinced that our choices are the best ones for us, but invariably they are based upon imperfect information.

Our Jewish heritage not only encourages us but also commands us to regularly examine our character, our thoughts, our behavior … our very lives themselves. From the weekday tahanun  prayer to Yom Kippur’s al het and everything in between, Jewish tradition guides us to examine our reality and to make adjustments.

The yamim noraim are a time when our tradition teaches us that God is more accessible. We also experience the joy of seeing so many people with whom we normally don’t have the opportunity to interact. Let us consider not the pain that we might recall in experiencing their absence from our lives during the rest of the year but rather let us receive the blessing, however fleeting, of their presence in our lives.

Many years ago, I was excited to be offered access to letters and documents of a close family member. One letter exchange has stayed with me ever since. It described the hurt that my close family member had experienced after the repeated visits from another family member. The author described feeling as if they were treated as a hotel for their relatives to use while acting as tourists. The response detailed how angry the relatives were in being accused of not being good guests while attacking my closer relative for not being good hosts. These family members had so little family to enjoy and yet they severed their connection with each other.

For so many reasons, I see this as a tragedy too commonly played out in our lives. Since we have such limited opportunities to share time together, we might consider reframing our expectations a little more closely toward the dynamic relationship before us. I’m sure that I’m not the only one who can say that I have been hurt by things that people have said or done to me, well-meaning or not. And I am sure that I have made mistakes in that arena, as well.

Let us focus on what is important in our world, considering what we have to lose and what riches we can gain by nurturing the relationships we have, beginning where they are right now. Perhaps we can consider each person, even familiar ones, deserving of our fulfillment of the mitzvah of hakhnasat orhim , of “welcoming the stranger.”

The High Holy Days may be about creating an action plan to navigate to and ultimately to travel on an authentic path for the coming year (and beyond). However, in our navigating through the crowd, let’s not miss the beauty of each person we meet.

I look forward to sharing the path ahead — L’shanah tovah tikateivu.

 

 

 

Spiritual Practice
Rabbi, Temple Beth Shalom (Brigantine, NJ)

Related Resources

News and Blogs

Daf Yomi While Sheltering in Place

https://www.sefaria.org/Berakhot.54a.3?lang=bi&with=all&lang2=enRabbi Nancy Fuchs Kreimer, Ph.D., reflects on the insights gained from daily Talmud study during the coronavirus pandemic. 

News
News and Blogs

Need to Take a Breath at Work?

More and faster describes my usual work habit. I’ve operated this way for decades. But daily, I’m learning to take a breath so my work is not solely about tasks; it is infused with soul.

News
News and Blogs

Evolving

Through Evolve, we we provide deep, thoughtful, challenging materials to rabbis, professionals and educated laypeople, and provide forums for discussing and reflecting on these materials with respect.

News
News and Blogs

Does The Torah Require Us To Publicize Names Of Sexual Abusers?

What does Judaism teach us about how to respond to accusations of harassment or assault?

News

High Holiday Message from Rabbi Deborah Waxman, Ph.D.

At Rosh Hashanah, as we turn to new beginnings, we seek to repent—to do teshuvah—for what we have done wrong. And we can also affirmatively foster ourselves toward resilience—toward a thriving, loving outlook in spite of whatever challenges we encounter in life. In this video, I explore themes of resilience embedded into Jewish practice.

Video

God Loves the Stranger: Introduction

Introductory essay in God Loves the Stranger

Article

Hospitality and Spirit

Rabbi Shefa Gold reflects on creating a spiritual community of welcome

Article

Welcoming Strangers Through AirBnB: A Spiritual Practice

As empty nesters open their home to strangers via AirBnB, they find that hospitality has spiritual lessons to teach.

Article
News and Blogs

Keeping the Faith: Resilience in the Jewish Tradition

In an essay for eJewishPhilanthropy, Rabbi Deborah Waxman delves into Jewish history and tradition around resilience — the focus of our new podcast, Hashivenu.

News

The Hebrew Word For Patience

Rabbi Jacob Staub reflects on the spirituality of anger, patience, and healing. 

Article

Nitzavim and Teshuvah

Study sheet on the relationship between Parashat Nitzavim and themes of teshuvah.

Document

What is the purpose of the tzitzit (fringes)?

What is the meaning of the fringes (tzitzit) on a Jewish prayer shawl (tallit)? Rabbi Toba Spitzer examines the sources. 

Document

Ki Tavo and the Practice of Joy

What does it mean to be commanded to be joyful? Rabbi Toba Spitzer unpacks this imperative from Parashat Ki Tavo.

Document

What is "Coveting"?

The Ten Commandments tell us not to “covet.” What does that mean? This study sheet explores sources related to this issue.

Document

Teshuvah and Compassion

This study sheet on teshuvah and compassion draws our attention to the interplay between our ability to forgive others, and God's ability to forgive us. 

Document